Ask About Her Year or No Thanks, Stranger (Wardrobe Storyline)

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By Samyr Ahmad

Ask About Her Year or No Thanks, Stranger (Wardrobe Storyline)

Babysit or Follow the Reverend

Gas station attendant C.J. (Johnny Knoxville) gives Kimmy and Titus a hot tip on where the Reverend is going, but then abruptly leaves the gas station, leaving behind his baby. Should Kimmy and Titus stay to babysit, or hurry after the Reverend?

  • Babysit – Kimmy and Titus look after the baby until C.J. gets back, and he thanks them. They then continue their pursuit of the Reverend.
  • Follow The Reverend (Game Over) – Kimmy abandons the baby, which wanders outside and is implicitly eaten by wolves. The Reverend gets to the bunker first and escapes with the girls.

Jenny is back, and as Jacqueline continues to stall Jenny despairs that she’ll lose her job if Titus doesn’t get fitted for his pants. She says she’s already had a bad year, and heavily hints that Jacqueline should ask her about it.

  • Ask About Her Year – Jacqueline reluctantly listens to the story, and realizes that Jenny’s bad year has eerie similarities to her own life.
  • No Thanks, Stranger – Jenny figures out that Titus isn’t in his trailer.

Follow Kimmy or Woodland Banquet

Kimmy and Titus are close to catching the Reverend, but Titus ate some magic mushrooms and is very high. When Kimmy sees the Reverend and takes off running after him, Titus hallucinates a banquet in the middle of the woods and gets distracted. Should he follow Kimmy, or eat the woodland banquet?

  • Follow Kimmy (Best Ending) – Titus decides to be a good friend and follows Kimmy. However, another woodland banquet appears. Titus attempts to run straight through it, but this banquet happens to be real. It’s the craft services table for the movie set he’s supposed to be on. Titus shows up just in time to save Jacqueline from being caught in a lie, and triumphantly shoots his scene.
  • Woodland Banquet (OK Ending) – Titus attempts to eat the woodland banquet, which is really just twigs and dirt. The dirt ruins his singing voice and he never shows up for the movie. Jacqueline is caught in a lie and men in the film industry realize this means they no longer have to #BelieveAllWomen. They joyfully go back to sexually harassing and assaulting their female colleagues. At the wedding, Jacqueline is blamed for ending MeToo.

Shoot, Stomp, Spare or ‘Splode the Reverend

The Reverend trips over a fallen tree while running and breaks his ankle, leaving him at Kimmy’s mercy. He claims he doesn’t remember where his second bunker is, and a frustrated Kimmy pulls out a gun she found at the gas station. The player is given three lethal options for the Reverend along with the option to spare him. We recommend killing him in all three different ways first, because it’s very satisfying.

  • Shoot Him (Game Over) – The Reverend ends up in sugar daddy websites new jersey hell with Mr. Frumpus (Bill Barretta), but because he’s dead, Kimmy never finds the other girls he captured.
  • Stomp Him (Game Over) – Kimmy stomps the Reverend to death, goes crazy and becomes a hill person. Frederick ends up marrying Xanthippe (Dylan Gelula) instead.
  • ‘Splode Him (Game Over) – Kimmy throws away the gun, but then pulls out a rocket launcher. She shoots the Reverend with at at close range and they both ‘splode.
  • Spare Him – Kimmy decides to let the Reverend live and goes off to find a tree branch so that she can make a splint for him. She discovers a fake tree, and underneath it is the entrance to the second bunker. She frees the Mole Women trapped inside, and returns home for her wedding.

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