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This partly explains why we get so awkward and insecure around folks to whom we’re intensely attracted. It also explains why our greatest heartbreaks usually occur with these most intense, fiery sights. Some of us react to past heartbreaks by courting solely these on the low end of our attraction spectrum; we’re afraid of the depth and the risk of painful loss after we approach people on the higher finish. We regularly really feel most secure with individuals who don’t do a lot for us on a bodily or romantic level as a result of it simply feels more comfortable—but the downside may be boredom, frustration, and a scarcity of passion.
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